Things Are Looking Up

I began this week determined to have a better, more positive, more productive week than last week. I think by having a good attitude, you bring a lot of good vibes around and stuff really does go better in general. Some things I'm grateful for this week (in no particular order):

1. My part-time job finally came through. I am tutoring 3 lovely (or should I say, HOPEFULLY lovely) children, starting tomorrow. It's difficult to pay for all the little unexpected things that come with moving when you have no job. I've been stretched pretty tightly financially while waiting around for this job to start, so I'm incredibly happy that by November 1, the tutoring company will be sticking some good money in my bank account.

2. I've gotten to teach all week in my internship! While I do get frustrated with the small children some days, it's better than being frustrated with my cooperating teacher because I have no responsibility. Things have gone relatively smoothly, including my 2nd formal observation by my supervisor.

3. Tracy. He's quite nice to me. He listens when I gripe, helps me be lazy when I have trouble slowing down, and acts goofy with me on a regular basis. Not really sure how I would have survived these last 2 months in a new place/new life without him.

4. I only have 6 days of this internship placement left!!! This marathon is almost halfway done, my friends. For this leg, I have only 1 Monday, 1 Tuesday, 1 Wednesday, 1 Thursday, and 2 Fridays left! Everyone do a little dance. Right now.

5. My incredibly kind mommy randomly decided to send me a pair of ballet flats that actually have arch support in them so that I can wear shoes to work that don't continue to mess up my foot! The foot that I hurt running has continued to give me some problems, but I've come to the conclusion that it's partially because I keep wearing flat, hard shoes all day with no arch supports. These should help at least some, and after I eventually get some new running shoes and insoles, perhaps I'll be good to go. I'm spoiled :)

6. Last, but certainly not least (and in fact, probably most importantly), THIS WEEKEND IS OU-TEXAS!!! I wish I was going again this year, but I'm perfectly content to sit on the couch and watch it long-distance as well. Tracy is miraculously off work that day, so we plan to stuff our faces with unhealthy junk and watch the Sooners dominate some Red River Rivalry. Yeeeeah... Everyone enjoy your Friday tomorrow, and Boomer Sooner!

Make a Good Choice

This week has been really insane (bad insane, not good insane).

I was a little nervous about this week to begin with, due to the fact that I was supposed to teach and be in charge of absolutely everything for the entire week at my internship. That requirement was mandated by my supervisor, and agreed to by my cooperating teacher. Taking over some third graders and kindergarteners may not seem like a big deal to most people, but it's amazing how many little things there are to plan, how much stuff keeps you up at night, and how little brain space is left after you've done all your thinking about doing the job well. Nonetheless, I walked into my school on Monday ready to tackle the challenge presented to me. I had lesson plans printed, materials prepared, about 3 hours of sleep (due to aforementioned "stuff" keeping me up at night), and an optimistic attitude. There was a sub, however, and things only went partially smoothly. She wanted to teach one of the sections REALLY badly (she's a former teacher of thirty years, as she assured me many, many times), so I let her. She also turned out to be a crazy sticker lady, so the kids got stickers for breathing. What did they do with these stickers? They put them on their eyelids and made faces at each other, of course! I did get to teach reading, if you can call it that; I pretty much administered the weekly test to them.

On Tuesday, I walked back into school, still hopeful and with a positive attitude that now that my teacher was back, I'd be the one calling the shots and teaching what I had spent all weekend planning. Instead, my teacher insisted on administering the math test (fine), but then she also decided she was going to teach absolutely everything that day, and she kept assigning me tasks away from the students, like entering data into the computer and grading tests for her. Let me be clear that I don't mind doing stuff like that. However, at this point in my internship, the entire purpose is for me to be the one leading the class as though I'm the teacher. I cringed as I sat at the computer, entering MY lesson plans into her template, while I heard her teach something far different from what I had planned. My lesson plans for the rest of the week were completely screwed at this point. If you know me well, you realize that I cried that day after school on my way home. I was frustrated to the point of not ever wanting to set foot in that school again. I had only gotten the opportunity to teach one lesson to the students before this past week, and that was for my formal observation by my supervisor. I had lost lots of sleep, time, and energy trying to be prepared and trying to do my very best at giving these kids a decent education, and it was all thwarted within a matter of 4 hours of teaching.

On Wednesday, although I told my parents I didn't want to do this anymore, that I didn't want to come back, and that I'm incredibly unhappy right now, I did march my butt back to the school, bright and early as usual (or dark and early, actually). I was still not allowed to teach, and (spoiler alert) I didn't really get to teach at all this week. My supervisor came to the school to have a meeting with my cooperating teacher and me, and my cooperating teacher told her that I've been taking over planning and instruction all week, which as you know, was not the case at all. Eventually she sort of backtracked on that, and my supervisor emphasized that I really need to be teaching. Supposedly this COMING week, I will be teaching. Sounds familiar, eh? However, I'm trying again to be optimistic, prepared, and find ways to make learning valuable for these kids.

Friday I did actually get to do a little bit of teacher-y stuff, as my cooperating teacher was absent again in the morning. Unfortunately, my body chose that day to get one of those migraines that makes you feel like you just might violently throw up (pretty picture, I know). I had to leave at about 1:00 and just go home and go to bed.

Clearly this has not been the best week of my life, but I feel hope in the thought that I have only 2 weeks, a mere 10 days, left in this classroom before I move on to middle school science and math (who knew I'd ever look forward to such a combo?). It is finally the weekend, here to alleviate my boiling blood pressure and stress. Today, now that my migraine friend is gone, I will plan the week's lessons to the best of my ability, knowing that my actions are the only ones I can control. As I tell the crazy small children almost daily, "Make a good choice," Melissa. My good choice on this fine Saturday will be to finish those pesky lesson plans, and then sit on my butt and watch OU kick the snot out of Cincinnati. The end.

Tea and Running and Sleep, Oh My!

Okay, I just wanted to share my excitement in this moment-- today marks ONE FULL WEEK of no carbonated, delicious, fizzy beverages! Sad day for my taste buds, happy day for the rest of me. I've been combating the extreme urge to pop open a can of yummy by keeping a filled water bottle with me constantly, drinking hot tea (with no added sugar), and occasionally having a little milk or orange juice. I also try to go running when I'm craving a cold can of something tasty. I think a few of the hardest parts during this past week have been 1. when I come home tired from work but don't want to take a nap, 2. when Tracy opens a can of Pepsi and I can hear it... My mind is clearly conditioned to react to the sound, and it practically makes my mouth water for my own can, 3. when I see all the pop in the fridge that I can't have. I know it's only been a week, but I already feel better. The lack of pop combined with the fact that I've been running for about 3 weeks now makes me feel as though I'm looking a little more toned than I was. Also, I'm sleeping (a little) better. With the student teaching I don't typically sleep well at night because, as my friend Mary Rachel pointed out, your mind just doesn't stop racing about all the little details of teaching, even though your body is exhausted. When I was drinking pop, if I took a nap after school, I wouldn't sleep till after midnight; now, I can take a little half-hour snooze to recharge and still go to bed at a decent hour. And finally, I'm just beginning to see myself craving less sugar. I got on quite the little sugar binge for awhile, and it's nice to be able to pass up the Oreos or the popsicles without my brain screeching, "No!!!! Miiiiiiine!" like a demented 3-year-old. So that's the big exciting thing going on in my life-- try not to wet your pants or anything :). We'll see how round 2 of Operation: Stay Out of My Belly goes between pop and me.

What's Been On My Mind

So today has been a teeny bit stressful, to say the least. Luckily, it's all school-related. For the second day in a row, my supervising teacher has decided it would be a really cool idea to tell me five minutes before class starts that I'll be teaching the hour's lesson. Never seen the material, didn't plan the lesson, no idea what I'm doing. I don't mind teaching, but I sure would like a chance to look over the material a bit, think about what a good way to teach the concept would be, and come up with something fun to do so that I don't make the kids do the next 4 workbook pages, which is what she had me do today. Tomorrow is my first observation, which means that someone from the University of Florida is coming to watch me teach third grade math. I'm actually more comfortable with this thought, since I made up the lesson and there's not a boring workbook page in sight. Still stressed, but at least I'm able to prepare.

I left school at noon today because I had a professional orientation seminar with the other interns here. We were supposed to learn about the certification process, resumes, how to get hired, etc. After overhearing from students that the special education program at UF has THIRTY other interns this semester who will be looking for jobs in the middle of the school year (OU only has three, counting me), I was a bit surprised to hear the certification director of UF tell the group that in order to have more than a temporary certificate in the state of Florida, one absolutely must get his or her master's degree in education. This is not the law in Oklahoma. So, to summarize: If I attempt to obtain a teaching job, I will be competing against 30 special educators with master's degrees, while I will only have a temporary certificate. In the middle of the school year. Riiiiiight. The principals who were there to answer questions told us that there are typically up to 200 applicants for a single open position in this area. Needless to say, this seminar started to deteriorate quickly for me, as I have no intention of getting my master's degree in special education.

Okay, so I suppose now would be an appropriate time to talk about my future plans, which I referenced a couple blogs back. I actually wasn't planning on talking about this for several more months, but I intend to take the GRE this semester in order to be accepted into UF's speech pathology master's program. Teaching is not something that I'm enjoying, and it's not something I see myself doing long-term. I absolutely believe teaching is a worthy profession, and I fully support all my teaching friends in their endeavors. Unfortunately, it's just not for me. I've been struggling with this idea for the past 1-2 years, and the goal was always to wait to make a decision until the pieces of the puzzle become more clear. Well, everything has become crystal clear for me this semester as I take on more teaching responsibilities and spend my days in a classroom.

My current intentions are to take my last certification test in Oklahoma in October, finish my student teaching internship in early December (so that I do have a certificate, rather than just a wasted 4 years of college education), take the GRE in December (which I've been studying for in the evenings), and find a full-time job as soon as student teaching is over. Because of above-mentioned circumstances, the likelihood of that job being a teaching job is low. Pending acceptance to graduate school, I will begin the speech pathology program in the fall, because the program only begins once a year. Because I don't have an undergraduate degree in speech pathology, the program will take me 7 semesters to complete, but that also includes summers. All things going smoothly, I should be done with the master's program in 2 1/2 years. I would like to work with adults, possibly at a hospital or nursing facility. This has been the decision that I've been struggling to accept for awhile now, and I finally feel at peace that I'm making the right decision for myself. I appreciate the support of others during this somewhat unexpected and difficult change in career paths upon which I'm embarking.

"My life, my career has been like a roller coaster. I've either been an enormous success or just a down-and-out failure."

-Judy Garland

Eat, Nap, Repeat

I just sat down to write a lesson plan for my observation this week in student teaching. That's why you're getting a blog (ha). Motivation for school work isn't exactly striking me at the moment, so writing a post is a nice little diversion. It has been a great, relaxing weekend, and I'm not ready to go back to school tomorrow AT. ALL. As I mentioned in my last post, Jake drove up from Ft. Lauderdale for the weekend, and he brought a new friend with him. We got some pizza, watched the OU football game (which I'm sure both of them were thrilled about, since neither went to OU), went out to dinner at Stonewood Grill and Tavern, and watched a movie (or halfway watched it, for those of us who couldn't stay awake very well). They left this morning, and Tracy and I have done nothing all day except catch up on sleep. Aaaaaahhhh, football season weekends. I kind of love Saturdays that consist mainly of eating chips and salsa and queso and snoozing in the middle of football games. Alas, it's back to reality tomorrow, full of 5:30 a.m. wake-up calls and IEP writing and making small children sit in their seats for long periods of time.

My foot is much better, for those of you who care. I appreciate the words of encouragement on my last post! I was going to try to run on it today, but it's currently pouring down rain and we're in some kind of advisory that involves small hail, so I may be putting that off. I have been walking on my foot just fine now with no limping for a couple days though, and so far everything seems fine. I'll be getting some new running shoes, but probably not till October or so. Part-time job isn't kicking in for another week or so, and unfortunately new shoes cost money, believe it or not. I'll just take it fairly easy till then and pay a little better attention when my body starts yelling at me.

On a somewhat related note, I think I may try this week to finally quit drinking pop (or sooooodaaaaa for all you people from the East). I love it a lot, and I've gotten back into drinking it way more than I used to, but I neeeeeed to stop! If anyone has any suggestions for how to make this easier, please share! The end.

When Running Goes Bad

Normally, I would be at school right now. In fact, I'd love to be at school rather than at home with a mysterious injury... Last night I was out running when it felt like my left foot got a cramp. Since cramps aren't really a huge deal, I kept running, and I ended up having a great run. I thought nothing else of the foot pain until about 1:00 in the morning, when the pain woke me up in a most unpleasant manner. I knew at this point that my foot was not having a cramp, so I took some ibuprofen and stuck a heating pad around my foot and went back to bed, crossing my fingers that I would be miraculously healed in the morning. Unfortunately, I woke up, put my weight on my foot, and promptly said (and I quote), "Owwwwww..." Because my teacher's classroom is at the far end of the school, the thought of hobbling through a school day sounded pretty unbearable. Instead, I trucked it on over to Urgent Care. Let me be clear: I hate having invisible injuries like this. I always feel like everyone thinks you're faking it when you walk around with a limp. Soooo then I felt like I looked like even more of a faker when the doctor saw no stress fractures and no weirdness in my foot. It turned out to be a fairly useless visit, and I was prescribed an anti-inflamatory and a pain reliever and told to rest, ice it, blah blah blah. Hopefully my invisible mystery injury heals soon so I can get back to running. It has felt great to get back into a routine, and an injury wasn't so much what I was going for.

Other than this unexpected development, my life is pretty average at the moment. Almost done with this week of school, and my first formal observation is next Thursday... I think I have my next step in this whole career thing mostly worked out, but I'm gonna wait awhile to talk about it... I have FOUR WEEKS till I'm back on beautiful Oklahoma soil for a visit! :) Can't wait for that... I believe tomorrow Tracy's and my delightful friend Jake may be coming to town from Ft. Lauderdale to hang out, and we always have lots of fun. Also can't wait to see OU kick Florida State's butt this weekend in football. Um, that's all... Enjoy your Thursday!

There's Only One Oklahoma

It's football time in Ooooooklahoma!!! Alas, I am not there. I can't tell you how much this saddens me. Even though toward the end of college I usually just watched games on TV, I still miss the option to go. I also miss seeing everyone decked out in their finest crimson and cream apparel, as everyone here dressed up in orange and blue on Friday. I've decided that next week I'll wear my OU stuff to the elementary school. Please cross your fingers that the rabid Gator fans don't chomp me into little pieces for that. And now, inspired by my friend Elise, a small list of things I miss about Oklahoma...

1. Certain restaurants. Taco Bueno (first and foremost), Freebirds, Jason's Deli, Sonic, ice cream from Braum's, Red Robin, Chicken Express... the list goes on and on.

2. Being able to walk in the grass in bare feet. This is something I never ever had conscious thoughts about while I lived in Oklahoma, but you can't do that here due to the ridiculous amounts of fire ants. I learned my lesson within the first week of being here, when I tried to pull a few weeds with no gloves and wound up with two nasty fire ant bites on my arm. It felt like, well, fire.

3. The ability to drive home to see my family for the weekend if I want to. Twenty hours is a little ridiculous sometimes.

4. Get-togethers with my special ed friends. I miss meeting up at Cheddar's (oh, that's another restaurant I miss) or the Library and catching up on all the events going on in everyone's lives.

5. The beauty that is Oklahoma. Don't get me wrong, Florida is very beautiful. It has insane amounts of trees (including palm trees everywhere, which rocks) and the weather is pretty much constantly warm, but there's something about the flat, pretty land when you can see for miles. This particular item on my list of things I miss will probably be intensified when fall comes around and OU's campus is full of autumn-y colors and crisp air, although I'm still looking forward to a pleasant winter here.

All that being said, Florida is still treating me quite well, and I'm happy I moved here for the experience of living somewhere else (plus it's nice to not be worrying about a long-distance relationship). It's no secret that I'd like to get back toward the Sooner State in a little less than 4 years when the Florida adventure is finished, but until then, I'll make the most of my time in a gorgeous state with beaches and tons of vacation destinations.

Student teaching is also trucking right along. I've been sick twice already, leading me to believe that they have some different strains of stuff here than they did back in Oklahoma, where I hardly ever got sick. The kids are cute though, and I'm a little sad that I'll be moving to a different school in 5 weeks. A couple kid-isms from this week-- 1. I was asked if the grass is growing, and then if grass sleeps at night. 2. I was asked if bears lay eggs. 3. When I said I wasn't married, one of the little boys said he'd come live with me. 4. Another little boy said that I should be an angel for Halloween because I'm pretty and angels are pretty.... They're a bunch of suck-ups haha. It's like they think I'm the one giving them a grade or something :)

My second placement has been changed slightly. I'll still be at Westwood Middle School, but I'll be with a teacher now who teaches special ed science (who knew they had such a thing?) and co-teaches math. Science and math. With middle schoolers. This should be entertaining.

I found out from my current teacher that one of the community colleges here offers "community education," which is a bunch of leisure/recreation classes you can take cheaply as an adult. They offer classes in oil painting, pottery, yoga, kayaking, foreign languages, guitar, and all kinds of other stuff! I think I may do this instead of join a gym. I've been running outside here, and it's cheaper to just sign up for a yoga class than to do a full-blown gym membership. Plus, with so many options, I can learn lots of fun stuff that I'd never do otherwise, and hopefully meet some people while I'm at it. I just missed the first deadline, but another set of classes starts up in early October.

Tracy has several nights in a row of working the evening/night shift, so I'm currently chilling by myself and watching the very amazing match-up of Oregon State and TCU. Should be a good game. He has next weekend off, so we may go to the beach! Yay get excited. Thaaat's about it for this week. 5 weeks till my visit to Oklahoma!